i hate coffee

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what people whisper when they see a coffee cup and feel like screaming

I hate coffee. It’s like drinking a screaming toddler’s juice.

My coffee is so strong it could wake the dead. I hate coffee.

I hate coffee. It’s the only thing that could make me quit my job.

what your brain says when it’s been tortured by espresso

I hate coffee. It’s like my brain was boiled in a pot.

I hate coffee. I’ve had more coffee than a barista in a week.

I hate coffee. I think it’s trying to take over my body.

what people yell when they’re trying to survive the day

I hate coffee. It’s the only thing keeping me awake and angry.

I hate coffee. I drank so much I think I’m gonna turn into a coffee bean.

I hate coffee. It’s like drinking a punchline that doesn’t make sense.