1
A person who thinks kids are the worst thing since soggy cereal.
My brother is the worst. He takes my snacks and laughs like a hyena.
I’d rather eat a sock than be around kids.
He called my dog a ‘fart in a tutu’ and I’m still mad.
I hate children
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2
A grown-up who still can’t handle loud noises or sticky fingers.
She screamed when my friend threw confetti like it was a war.
He cried when a kid drew on his face with crayon.
He ran out of the room when a kid shouted ‘I’m a superhero’.
3
A person who wishes every kid had a permanent frown and a lisp.
He said my little cousin talks like a broken robot.
He groaned when a kid asked him for a cookie.
He called my niece a ‘mess in a dress’ and I laughed.
4
Someone who would rather be locked in a closet with a pigeon than be around a group of kids.
He said he’d take a pigeon over a classroom full of kids any day.
He screamed when the kids started singing a song about pizza.
He ran away when a kid said ‘I’m going to be a king’.
5
A person who thinks kids are just tiny adults with no filters and too much energy.
He said kids are like ‘adults who forgot to take their meds’.
He called my cousin a ‘tiny explosion’ and I agreed.
He groaned when a kid shouted ‘I’m the best’ at the top of his lungs.
6
A person who wants to throw every kid into a blender and call it a day.
He said kids are like ‘smoothies with no sugar’ and I laughed.
He yelled when a kid dropped a whole bag of chips on the floor.
He threatened to put a kid in a blender if he didn’t shut up.