i had sex with an omlette in the middle of a mall while making eye contact with a security guard before being escorted out

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you messed up so bad it’s like you were born in a dumpster and raised by rats.

i did a full-on dance number in a grocery store while yelling at a chicken

i got kicked out of a library for throwing confetti at a statue of a librarian

you did something so stupid it makes a toddler look like a genius.

i had sex with an omlette in the middle of a mall while making eye contact with a security guard before being escorted out

i tried to beatbox at a funeral and it turned into a karaoke battle

i ran into a fountain wearing only socks and a sandwich

you went full-on crazy and left a trail of embarrassment in your wake.

i had sex with an omlette in the middle of a mall while making eye contact with a security guard before being escorted out

i started a screaming match with a vending machine and won

i got into a duel with a pizza delivery guy over who had the better toppings