I had a girlfriend like that once

Man: 'I used to date a girl who cried every time I said I was hungry.'

Girl: 'My ex was like a broken vending machine. You push a button, and it just spits out disappointment.'

Friend: 'My old girlfriend was like a bad joke. You tell it once, and you never want to hear it again.'

Bro: 'My ex was like a bad movie. The plot made no sense, and it ended with a random punch.'

Sis: 'My ex was like a broken toilet. It never worked, and it always smelled bad.'

Cousin: 'My ex was like a bad burrito. It looked okay, but it tasted like regret.'

Dad: 'My ex was like a loud neighbor. She yelled at me every day, and I couldn't sleep.'

Mom: 'My ex was like a bad coffee. It tasted like regret and burnt toast.'

Nephew: 'My ex was like a broken escalator. It just stopped, and I had to walk the whole way.'