i got united

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when you get yanked out of your seat like a dog from a couch by some unhinged airline worker

I got united when the guy behind me tried to take my seat and the flight attendant threw me out like a sack of potatoes.

I got united so hard I thought my legs were gonna pop off.

I got united and my coffee spilled on the guy next to me. He cried.

when you're forcibly removed from your seat like a piece of trash and you're still wearing your pants

I got united because I wouldn't shut up about the snack tray.

I got united and my seatbelt was still on. I was confused.

I got united and my mom was watching on her phone. She laughed.

when you're dragged from your seat so fast you think you're gonna get a new face

I got united and my face looked like a pancake. I was proud.

I got united because I asked for extra legroom and the guy got mad.

I got united and my seatmate got a free drink. I got a free injury.