I fucked her

My cousin said, 'I fucked her so hard she cried,' and then he laughed like he won the lottery.

My brother texted me, 'I fucked her in the back of the bus,' and then he got kicked out of school.

My friend said, 'I fucked her and she still won't stop talking about it,' and now he's stuck with her for lunch.

My friend said, 'I fucked her,' and then nobody even looked up from their phones.

I told my mom the story and she said, 'You're making this up,' and I said, 'No, I'm not, I'm telling the truth.'

My teacher asked me what I was doing and I said, 'I was telling a story,' and she said, 'I don't think that's what it was.'

My dad said he was in a hammock and he was so relaxed he fell out.

My brother said he was in a hammock and he was so relaxed he didn't even notice the dog ran by.

My friend said he was in a hammock and he was so relaxed he didn't even remember his own name.