I fuck on the first date

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1
A promise that you’ll try to rip their clothes off before the coffee is even cold.
'I fuck on the first date', like I’m not already half-dressed.
'I said I fuck on the first date, no need to bring a date.'
He said, 'I fuck on the first date', I brought a friend just in case.
2
A declaration that you’ll try to do the horizontal mambo before the first movie ends.
'I fuck on the first date', I didn’t even wait for the appetizer.
She said, 'I fuck on the first date', I brought a sandwich just in case.
He told me, 'I fuck on the first date', I asked if he was serious.
3
A statement that you're not just there to chat, you're there to get a little bit of action.
'I fuck on the first date', I didn’t even wait for the first question.
She said, 'I fuck on the first date', I got a coffee and a headache.
He texted, 'I fuck on the first date', I asked if that was a challenge.
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