I fought Dracula

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When someone leaves you looking like a vampire after a bloodbath.

My neck looks like a steak after a dinner party.

He gave me so many hickeys I could start a band called 'The Hickey Hounds.'

I fought Dracula and lost. My neck is the evidence.

When someone turns your neck into a love map with a bunch of red dots.

He mapped my neck like he was claiming territory.

My neck looks like a target practice for a love sick kid.

I got so many hickeys I could draw a map to the nearest coffee shop.

When someone gives you a full body hickey and you still don’t know why.

He gave me a full body hickey and left me confused.

I fought Dracula and he won. I don’t even know how.

I look like a tomato and I didn’t even ask for it.