I feel like I had a real G moment today

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You felt like you just won the lottery and then kicked the winner’s ass.

I passed my math test and then failed the teacher’s phone number.

My dog ate my homework and my mom didn’t even yell.

I got my coffee before my boss did and he cried.

You had a moment so good it makes your grandma’s lasagna look bad.

I beat my brother at video games and he cried like a baby.

I got extra fries at the burger place and my friend didn’t.

My teacher gave me a gold star and my dog got a gold fish.

You had a moment so perfect it should’ve been on a billboard and then got stolen by a goat.

I finished my lunch before my sister did and she stole my juice.

I got called ‘smart’ by my principal and my cat got called ‘stupid’.

I passed my mom’s driving test and she failed mine.