I could buy you and sell you

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2 views · Added 11d ago · 3 definitions

A smug way of saying you’re so broke and ugly, I could buy you like a used couch and still have money left to throw at my ex.

My mom said that to my little brother when he asked for a new phone.

My crush said that to me when I tried to borrow his bike.

My uncle said that to my cousin after she lost her job.

A cocky way of saying you’re not even worth my time, like you’re a bad pizza that’s already cold and soggy.

My brother said that to me after I spilled soda on his laptop.

My teacher said that to me when I forgot my homework again.

My friend said that to me when I tried to join his group chat.

You’re so uncool and unwanted, I could buy you like a broken toy and still laugh at you while I throw it in the trash.

My neighbor said that to my dog when he pooped on her lawn.

My sister said that to me when I wore mismatched socks to school.

My boss said that to me after I messed up the whole presentation.