I choked on my latte

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When you hear something so dumb or fake you feel like you just swallowed a whole cup of coffee and it exploded in your throat like a fart.

'I choked on my latte' when my boss said he 'synergized the workflow' and called it a 'paradigm shift.'

'I choked on my latte' after my friend said she 'curated her aesthetic' and it took three sentences to explain what that meant.

'I choked on my latte' when my crush told me he 'vibes with the energy' and I had no idea what that meant.

When you're so mad or confused you feel like your coffee just went up your nose and you're now part coffee and part human.

'I choked on my latte' when my ex said she was 'just vibing with the energy' and I wanted to throw my cup at her.

'I choked on my latte' when my teacher called our project a 'paradigm shift' and it took five minutes to explain what that even meant.

'I choked on my latte' when my mom said she 'curated her aesthetic' and it took two hours to explain it.