i can't stand you

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1
When someone says something so stupid it makes your brain shut down and you want to punch them in the face.
My cousin said he’d rather eat worms than go to school. I literally stared at him like he was a monster.
My teacher said pizza is a vegetable. I laughed so hard I cried.
My friend told me he can talk to cats. I said, 'Prove it.' He said, 'They told me you're an idiot.'
2
When you love someone so much you want to slap them, hug them, and throw them off a cliff all at the same time.
My mom says I’m the best kid ever. Then she gives me a hug and tells me I’m the worst kid ever.
My brother said I’m his favorite person. Then he stole my snack.
My dog loves me so much he eats my homework. I love him too, but I’m also a little mad.
xs