i can't dance

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Moving like a slug with your arms and legs going in sync like you’re trying to avoid getting hit by a bus.

My cousin tried to dance and looked like he was doing yoga for sad people.

At the party, my mom did the 'I Can't Dance' shuffle and everyone burst out laughing.

My dog tried to dance and just flopped on the floor.

A dance so bad it makes you question your life choices and why you ever listened to Genesis.

My friend’s attempt at the dance was so bad, I considered leaving the room.

At the family reunion, my uncle did the 'I Can't Dance' and it was like watching a horror movie.

My brother tried to dance and it looked like he was possessed by a confused robot.

A slow, stiff walk where you stretch your arms like you’re trying to reach the sky and failing.

My sister did the dance and it was like watching a broken robot trying to be cool.

At the funeral, my dad tried to dance and it looked like he was being tortured.

My teacher did the 'I Can't Dance' and the whole class fell out of their chairs laughing.