i can fix that

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Sam the onion picker from the movie Holes says this when he thinks he can save the day with a bunch of onions and a stupid plan.

Sam: I can fix that. (Then he eats an onion and passes out.)

Sam: I can fix that. (He actually fixes nothing.)

Sam: I can fix that. (He fixes the plot of the movie.)

When you're too dumb to realize you're already broken and you're trying to fix something that's already烂.

Friend: What’s wrong with you? Me: I can fix that. (Then I broke the coffee table.)

Me: I can fix that. (I fixed nothing. I broke everything.)

Friend: You’re a mess. Me: I can fix that. (I added more mess.)

When a girl thinks she can turn a guy into a perfect human being by yelling at him and ignoring her own problems.

Girl: I can fix him. (He ran away.)

Girl: I can fix him. (He turned into a zombie.)

Girl: I can fix him. (He fixed her. Then he ran away.)

When you’re so delusional you think you can clean someone’s sins and they won’t even notice you’re a total mess.

Fantasy Boy: I can fix her. (She yelled at him.)

Fantasy Boy: I can fix her. (He cleaned her sins. She yelled more.)

Fantasy Boy: I can fix her. (She turned into a witch.)

When you believe you can turn a cheater into a monk, a liar into a truth-teller, and a drama queen into a regular person.

Fantasy Boy: I can fix her. (She cheated on him again.)

Fantasy Boy: I can fix her. (He turned into a monk. She turned into a drama queen.)

Fantasy Boy: I can fix her. (He fixed her. Then she fixed him.)

When you think love can change someone’s personality and you ignore the facts that people don’t change, especially not the ones who cheat on you.

Fantasy Boy: I can fix her. (She cheated on him. He believed it.)

Fantasy Boy: I can fix her. (She turned into a liar. He turned into a monk.)

Fantasy Boy: I can fix her. (He fixed her. She fixed him. They both cheated.)