I beat my meat daily

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You hit your meat so much it’s like you’re trying to make it cry

My meat’s got a black eye from all the daily whacks

I hit my meat like it owes me money

I beat my meat so much my hand’s sore and my brain’s fried

You’re so obsessed with your meat it’s like it’s your only friend

My meat and I have a love-hate relationship

I talk to my meat before I go to sleep

My meat’s got more stories than my ex

You’re so busy beating your meat you forgot how to live

I beat my meat so much I missed my own birthday

I beat my meat instead of doing my homework

I beat my meat and now I’m out of snacks