i beat my meat

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2 views · Added 2d ago · 7 definitions

1
A man who jerks off like he's trying to break his own arm
Bro just went into the bathroom and came out like he fought a bear
My cousin says he does it every time he eats pizza
He was so loud I had to turn off my phone
2
When you rub your junk until it feels like it's going to explode
I was on the bus and had to hold my pants up
My mom heard me and said 'I'm getting a new bed'
I did it in the school hallway and got detention
3
Screaming 'Yeet Yeet I Beat My Meat' before you go nuts
He yelled it so loud the neighbor called the cops
I did it in my room and my little brother ran out
He did it in the shower and the water turned red
4
You are a god and should be worshipped for your greatness
He got a trophy and a medal from his friends
I got a certificate and a gold star
They built a statue of me in the park
5
When you laugh so hard you accidentally start jerking off
I was watching a funny video and then I started beating my meat
He laughed so hard he fell off the couch
She was so giggling she didn't notice she was doing it
6
When a girl makes a guy cum so fast he can't breathe
She did it so hard he fainted
He was so shocked he started crying
He couldn't walk for a whole day after that
7
You are a meat-beating machine that never stops
He does it so much his hands are sore
I beat my meat so much I got a blister
He does it so much he's got a new nickname
xs