I bare no responsibility

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I don’t even know what responsibility is. It’s probably a curse.

I didn’t do the math homework. It’s your problem now.

I left my shoes in the hallway. That’s not my fault.

I said I’d help you move. Then I ran away.

I’m not responsible. I’m a free man. You’re the prisoner.

I didn’t show up to the meeting. You’re stuck with the chaos.

I forgot your birthday. You’re the one who’s sad.

I broke your phone. You’re the one who’s angry.

I took no part in this. I’m just here for the snacks.

I didn’t start the fight. I was just eating a sandwich.

I didn’t fail the test. I was distracted by the glitter.

I didn’t lose the keys. I was looking for the snacks.