I ate my cat

My mom just texted me: 'Your dad is missing.' I replied: 'I ate my cat.'

At the dinner table, my brother said, 'I ate my cat.' My mom threw a fork at me.

In a group chat, someone said, 'I ate my cat.' I replied, 'You’re not even hungry.'

My friend said, 'I ate my cat.' I asked, 'What even is this?' He said, 'I don’t know.'

In a Zoom call, my teacher said, 'I ate my cat.' I replied, 'You’re not even on mute.'

I told my crush, 'I ate my cat.' He said, 'You’re not even cute.'