I am so McGyver

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I can fix anything even if it’s broken and I don’t know what it is.

I fixed my phone with a paperclip and a curse.

I turned my broken watch into a weapon.

I fixed the toilet with a sock and a swear word.

I can build anything even if I’m high and it’s 3 a. m.

I built a rocket out of duct tape and regret.

I built a whole house with a hammer and a lie.

I built a throne out of pizza boxes and pride.

I can solve any problem even if it’s not a problem and I’m not sure what it is.

I solved the mystery of my missing socks with a guess and a spatula.

I solved my loneliness with a friend and a rant.

I solved the traffic jam with a yell and a banana.