i am not that guy

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1 views · Added 2d ago · 4 definitions

1
A big guy with a tiny brain who thinks his gun is the best thing ever, even though it costs a fortune and only works for a few seconds before he screams like a baby.
"I'm not that guy! I'm the guy with the gun that costs a million bucks!", Heavy after firing one bullet and crying.
"I'm not that guy! I'm the guy who doesn't know how to hold a gun properly!", Heavy after dropping his Minigun on the floor.
"I'm not that guy! I'm the guy who thinks he's the best at everything!", Heavy after failing to kill a single enemy.
2
The guy your girl runs to when you're not around, like you're not even worth the effort of being her main guy.
"He's not that guy! He's the guy who only shows up when I'm not looking!", Your girl, after she texts your ex.
"He's not that guy! He's the guy who thinks he's better than you!", Your girl, after she spends all her money on him.
"He's not that guy! He's the guy who doesn't even know what a real man is!", Your girl, after she dumps you for the third time this month.
3
You're not the retard. You're just trying to act like you're the retard so you can brag about it later and take all the credit.
"I'm not that guy! I'm the guy who takes all the credit!", You, after you failed a test and blamed the retard.
"I'm not that guy! I'm the guy who's better than the retard!", You, after you got the highest score in the class.
"I'm not that guy! I'm the guy who's not even a real retard!", You, after you got caught cheating.
4
What you yell when you're not that guy, like you're trying to convince everyone that you're the opposite of that guy, but you're still kind of that guy.
"I'm not that guy! I'm the guy who says I'm not that guy!", You, after you failed your first test.
"I'm not that guy! I'm the guy who's not even a guy!", You, after you got kicked out of the lunch table.
"I'm not that guy! I'm the guy who thinks he's not that guy!", You, after you got a D on your report card.
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