I am a Sexaholic

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3 views · Added 11d ago · 6 definitions

I’m so obsessed with sex I’d rather die than stop thinking about it.

I tried to pray, but my brain was too busy imagining my pastor’s wife.

I got a tattoo of a naked man, and I still haven’t forgiven myself.

I told my mom I was going to church, but I was actually at a strip club.

I would cheat on my best friend just to get a better view of a hot stranger.

I skipped my job interview to watch a porn movie.

I flirted with my boss’s wife during a meeting.

I lied to my dog about going for a walk, and I stayed home to watch a dating app.

I can’t focus on anything if there’s a pretty person nearby.

I failed my math test because I kept thinking about my teacher’s smile.

I texted my crush instead of doing my homework.

I got into a fight with my brother because he interrupted my fantasy about my neighbor.

I’d rather be stuck in a hot car with a stranger than be alone.

I asked a guy to join me in my car because it was 90 degrees and he was cute.

I let my crush borrow my car, and we ended up driving for hours.

I ignored my friend’s call because I was too busy staring at a guy in the grocery store.

I have a love-hate relationship with every person I see.

I stared at the guy who dropped his coffee on the floor, and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

I hate my coworker, but I still want to kiss her.

I yelled at the barista for giving me the wrong coffee, and now I want to date her.

I get turned on by everything, even my pet.

I got a hard-on because my dog was licking my face.

I tried to ignore my cat, but it was too cute.

I got distracted by my goldfish and forgot about my date.