Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

You say this like you’re the only one who’s ever had a cat and you’re still alive to tell the tale.

My cat bit my neighbor. I don’t own a cat. I own a monster.

You asked if I own a cat? I own a cat. I also own a curse.

I own a cat. I also own a death wish.

2

You say this like you’re the cat’s parent and the cat thinks you’re a failure.

I own a cat. It judges me every day.

I own a cat. It’s got a job and I don’t.

I own a cat. It’s got a better life than me.

3

You say this like you’re the only one who knows what a cat is and everyone else is stupid.

I own a cat. You don’t even know what that means.

I own a cat. You’re not even close to being a cat person.

I own a cat. You’re just a human.

4

You say this like you’re the cat’s best friend and the rest of the world is your enemy.

I own a cat. It’s my best friend. You’re my enemy.

I own a cat. It’s loyal. You’re not.

I own a cat. It’s got my back. You don’t.

5

You say this like you’re the cat’s boss and you’re not afraid to fire it.

I own a cat. It’s my employee. I can fire it anytime.

I own a cat. It’s got a job. I’m the boss.

I own a cat. It’s not working out. I’ll find another one.

6

You say this like you’re the only one who’s ever had a cat and you’re not even a little bit tired of it.

I own a cat. I’ve had it for years. I’m still not tired of it.

I own a cat. It’s been with me through everything. I’m still not tired of it.

I own a cat. I haven’t even thought about getting rid of it yet.