i aint no mack

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when you're so ugly people think you're a failed experiment and not a real person

My face is so bad, I think I scared the pizza man away.

I walked into a mirror and it ran.

My dog won't stop laughing at me.

when you're so bad at everything it's like watching a train wreck with a side of chicken nuggets

I tried to cook and burned my eyebrows off.

I danced and looked like a confused octopus.

I tried to speak and sounded like a broken toaster.

when you're so clueless you think a traffic jam is a party and you're the DJ

I got stuck in traffic and thought it was a surprise party.

I honked my horn and thought it was a greeting.

I waved at a car like it was my best friend.