i aint never seen two pretty best friends

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1
You can’t have two hot best friends. One of them has to be a mess.
My cousin tried to be best friends with the school queen. Now she’s the one with the bad hair.
My friend’s ex said he dated the best friend and she was the ugly one.
I tried to be friends with the twins. Turns out one of them was just a hot mess.
2
Some guy in a car said two hot best friends don’t exist. One of them has to be a disgrace.
The man in the car said my friend and her bestie couldn’t both be hot. He was right.
That creepy guy in the car said my friend’s bestie had to be ugly. He was wrong.
That guy in the car said he’d never seen two hot best friends. I told him he was a disgrace.
3
The creepy lightskin man with the same hair and eye color as his beard said he’s never seen two hot best friends. One of them always has to be ugly.
The creepy man in the car said I had to be ugly. I told him he was a mess.
That man with the same hair and eyes said my friend was the ugly one. She kicked him out of her car.
The creepy man in the car said my best friend had to be ugly. She told him to shut up.
4
You’ll never see two hot best friends. One of them always has to be a disaster.
My friend’s best friend was the disaster. She had to be the ugly one.
The guy in the car said my friend had to be the disaster. She told him to go away.
My best friend’s best friend had to be the disaster. She had bad hair and bad grades.
5
Life advice: You’ll never see two hot best friends. One of them always has to be a mess. It’s a fact of life.
My teacher said that life advice was important. I didn’t care. I still failed math.
My mom told me that one of my best friends had to be a mess. I told her I was the mess.
My friend’s teacher said that life advice was true. My friend didn’t believe her.
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