H.I.L.F.

My neighbor’s kid is a H. I. L. F. I’d wake up to his screaming and then feed him to my cat.

That guy at the gym is a H. I. L. F. I’d bench press him and then ask for a date.

My cousin’s boyfriend is a H. I. L. F. I’d punch him in the face and then take his lunch money.

That kid in my class is a H. I. L. F. I’d kick him in the butt and then tell the teacher he was sick.

My brother’s friend is a H. I. L. F. I’d kick him in the butt and then steal his video game.

That guy who asked me to prom is a H. I. L. F. I’d kick him in the butt and then eat his cake.

My little sister’s friend is a H. I. L. F. I’d make him cry and then take his snack from lunch.

That kid on the bus is a H. I. L. F. I’d make him cry and then steal his candy.

My neighbor’s son is a H. I. L. F. I’d make him cry and then take his ice cream.