hairy panic

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When you look down and realize your pubes are like a jungle and you’re about to be judged by a date who probably bathes in perfume and glitter.

My date walked in and I felt like I’d been attacked by a goat.

I saw my pubes and I wanted to hide under my bed.

I looked at my pubes and thought, 'This is why I never brush my teeth before dates.'

The shock you feel when you rip off your new lover’s underwear and find a hairy beast hiding inside.

I pulled off his underwear and it looked like a raccoon had lived there for years.

She had more hair than my ex and his dog combined.

I saw his pubes and I thought, 'This is why I’m single.'