Hairy Hams

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A person with a lot of hair and a huge appetite for pork that smells like a dead pig in a sauna.

I saw Hairy Hams at the bar eating a whole leg of ham like it was his last meal.

My cousin is a Hairy Hams. He eats pork for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and sometimes for snacks.

That guy at the park was Hairy Hams. He had a beard and a plate of ribs in his lap.

Someone who looks like a wild animal and eats pork like it’s a religion.

My neighbor is a Hairy Hams. He walks around with a bag of pork rinds and a half-eaten ham in his hands.

That Hairy Hams at the gym had a ham sandwich bigger than his biceps.

My brother’s a Hairy Hams. He eats pork so much, his hair smells like a barbecue pit.

A guy with a ton of hair and a belly full of pork, like he’s been eating bacon for years.

The guy at the bus stop was a Hairy Hams. He had a beard and a plate of fried pork in front of him.

My uncle is a Hairy Hams. He eats ham for every meal and still has the energy to yell at me.

That Hairy Hams in the restaurant had a whole ham on his plate, and he didn’t even blink.