Hairy Frenchie

My uncle’s face looks like a raccoon got into a bag of hair gel.

He’s got a Hairy Frenchie so thick, it’s like he’s trying to hide his nose.

That man’s beard is so wild, it’s got its own zip code.

His beard is so bad, it’s like it’s got a grudge against him.

That Hairy Frenchie looks like it was grown in a dungeon.

He’s got more hair on his face than a goat has on its back.

His beard is so messy, it looks like it was dragged through a parking lot.

That Hairy Frenchie is like a forest on his face.

He’s got a beard so wild, it’s got a life of its own.