hairy barnacle

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A fuzzy little cock on your chest. Like a barnacle but with hair and way more attitude.

My hairy barnacle is giving me a lecture about life.

She has a hairy barnacle that's louder than my dad's truck.

I tried to shave my hairy barnacle and now it's plotting against me.

A hairy thing on your chest that thinks it's a boss. It’s like a barnacle but with a beard and a temper.

My hairy barnacle is mad because I forgot to feed it.

He showed up at the party with a hairy barnacle and a sandwich.

My hairy barnacle is arguing with my shirt.

A cursed fuzzy thing on your chest. It’s not a nipple. It’s a hairy barnacle and it’s out to get you.

My hairy barnacle is cursed and it’s making me late for work.

She’s got a hairy barnacle that’s trying to take over the world.

My hairy barnacle won’t stop talking during my Zoom meetings.