Hairess

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When you run your fingers through someone's hair like you're trying to make them fall in love with you or rip their scalp off.

He Hairessed me so hard I thought I'd get a free hair cut and a concussion.

My mom Hairessed my brother until he screamed like a girl.

She Hairessed the guy in the bar until he proposed to her.

The act of touching someone’s hair with more feeling than a dead man touching a corpse.

My crush Hairessed my hair so much I felt like a golden retriever.

He Hairessed my sister’s hair like it was a fine wine.

My teacher Hairessed my head until I thought I'd get a bald spot.

When you touch someone’s hair so much it feels like you’re trying to make them your hair’s new best friend.

My dad Hairessed my hair like it was the last pizza in the world.

She Hairessed my brother until he begged for mercy.

He Hairessed my hair so much I thought it was going to start a relationship.

The process of touching someone’s hair like it’s a crime and you’re the detective.

He Hairessed my hair like it was the last clue in a murder case.

She Hairessed my brother’s hair like he was a suspect.

My teacher Hairessed my head like I had stolen her coffee.

When you go from head to toe with your fingers in someone’s hair like you’re trying to make them your new roommate.

He Hairessed my hair like he was trying to move in with me.

She Hairessed my brother’s hair until he thought he was going to be adopted.

My mom Hairessed my hair like she was trying to take me to her house.