Hair Grenade

My cousin’s armpit hair is like a jungle. I can’t even look at her.

She came to my house and I had to run away. Her armpits were like a horror movie.

I told my mom I was moving out. Her armpits looked like they were on fire.

My neighbor’s armpit hair is so thick, it looks like she’s got a beard on her arms.

I saw her in the park and I swear I could hide in there.

She walked past me and I thought she was wearing a full body hair suit.

Her armpit hair is longer than my dad’s beard. It’s terrifying.

I tried to high-five her and it looked like I was about to get choked.

She walks like she’s got a rope around her arms. It’s like she’s ready to fight.