haimism

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Haimism is a crazy faith where people swear loyalty to Corey Ian Haim, the 80s guy who had the body of a god and the face of a sweaty gym rat.

I converted to Haimism after watching *The Lost Boys* and realizing he was the only man who could survive a vampire and a bad haircut.

My mom said I'd be damned if I didn't pray to Corey Ian Haim before my math test.

I got into a fight with my brother because he called Corey Ian Haim a 'milk mustache' and I took it as a personal insult.

Haimism is when you treat Corey Ian Haim like a saint, even though he probably died of a hair gel overdose and bad life choices.

My pastor said Corey Ian Haim was the second coming and I believed him until he started preaching about leg warmers.

I wrote a letter to Corey Ian Haim and told him he was the best thing since sliced bread and a decent haircut.

I dropped out of school to follow Corey Ian Haim on a tour and ended up in a landfill.

Haimism is a cult that worships Corey Ian Haim, the man who made being a heartthrob sound like a job and a curse.

I joined Haimism because I thought Corey Ian Haim was the only guy who could survive a vampire and a bad love life.

My teacher made us pray to Corey Ian Haim before the spelling bee and I got first place.

I started a Haimism group in my neighborhood and now we all meet every Friday to talk about leg warmers and bad movies.