Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A person who writes haikus so bad they make your eyes bleed and your brain scream

My cat is fat. I am sad. My life is a disaster.

The coffee is cold. My hopes are crushed. I need a drink.

The internet is slow. My patience is gone. I want to die.

2

A person who writes haikus like they’re trying to win a bet with the devil

The dog barked. I yelled. The neighbors called the cops.

My job is hell. My boss is worse. I want to quit.

The pizza was cold. My soul was broken. I cried in the shower.

3

A person who writes haikus so fast they probably forgot how to breathe

The coffee was hot. My face was red. I drank it all.

My phone died. I had no signal. I screamed into the void.

The traffic was bad. My mood was worse. I threw a tantrum.

4

A person who writes haikus like they’re trying to make sense of the universe and failing

The sky was blue. My brain was fried. I had no idea.

The dog ate my homework. I cried. I deserved it.

The sun came up. My day was ruined. I gave up.

5

A person who writes haikus like they’re being tortured and this is their revenge

The coffee was bitter. My day was worse. I needed more.

My boss was loud. My brain was tired. I wanted to quit.

The internet was slow. My life was worse. I screamed.