Hagrid Snow bastard of the northern north

My mom said I was the worst snow bastard she ever saw. I said she was the worst mom.

I got kicked out of the north for eating a whole deer in one sitting.

My dad said I was a disgrace. I said he was a disgrace too, but with more meat on his bones.

I tried to propose to a reindeer. It ran away.

My teacher said I was the worst student he ever had. I said he was the worst teacher, and he had a beard.

I broke the school record for eating the most pancakes in one go.

I fell into a lake and turned it into a snowball fight.

I tried to read a book and ate it instead.

My cousin said I was the most embarrassing person in the north. I said she was the most embarrassing, but with more hair.