hagrag a.k.a. hag rag

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a smelly magazine full of fake pictures and stupid headlines that make you think you're still cool even when you're not

My aunt sends me this every month. It’s like getting a middle finger from a beauty pageant loser.

I read it during lunch. Now I know why my face looks like a melted crayon box.

I tried to fap to it. It didn’t work. I now have a headache and a sense of shame.

a trashy tabloid that makes you feel like you’re in on the secret, even though you’re just a side character in someone else’s drama

I read it in the doctor’s waiting room. Now I know why my doctor is so tired.

My mom reads it and yells at me for not being as beautiful as the cover girl.

I tried to impress my crush with it. He left.

a magazine that screams at you with fake pictures and headlines so loud they make your brain hurt

I read it during math class. Now I have a headache and a failing grade.

My sister sends me a copy every week. It’s like getting a daily dose of guilt.

I tried to fap to it. It didn’t work. I now have a headache and a sense of shame.