haglag

I saw him in the club. He was doing the horizontal shuffle with a ghost.

She texted me, 'He had sex with a statue.' I said, 'That's a haglag.'

He tried to flirt with the pizza box. Classic haglag.

He had sex with the ceiling. I asked, 'Why?' He said, 'Why not?'

She posted a TikTok of her having sex with a chair. That's a haglag.

He had a one-night stand with a lamp. Lamp. That's a haglag.

He had sex with a wall. He didn't even know the wall was there.

She had a conversation with the vacuum cleaner. That's a haglag.

He had sex with the fridge. The fridge didn't even flinch.

He had sex with the floor. And he didn't even care.

She posted a selfie with a couch. That's a haglag.

He had a full-on romp with the toaster. No shame. Just a haglag.

He had sex with the microwave. And he didn't even know it was on.

She had a fling with the trash can. That's a haglag.

He had sex with the shower. He didn't even turn it on.

He had sex with the ceiling fan. That's a haglag.

She had a love affair with the blender. That's a haglag.

He had sex with the lamp. No life. Just a haglag.