hagia

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A giant, squishy, pig-faced Asian woman who eats like a horse and talks like she just woke up from a coma.

My aunt is a hagia. She eats three whole pizzas by herself and still has time to yell at me for being late.

That hagia in the mall just stared at me like I owed her money.

My cousin's mom is a hagia. She wore pajamas to the grocery store and called me 'little man'.

A church that took like two years to build and is now a museum. Used to be Christian. Then it became a mosque. Now it’s just a giant tourist trap.

That cathedral in Turkey is a hagia. It’s so old, it’s got more history than my grandma.

The hagia in Istanbul is like a giant time machine. You can see Christians, Muslims, and tourists all at once.

I went to the hagia. It looked like a giant piece of cake that got hit by a truck.