Haggleproof Snaggletooth

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A total mess that’s so confusing it makes your brain hurt. Like trying to understand a madman’s grocery list.

My mom’s explanation of why the dog ate my homework.

The instructions on how to assemble a IKEA table.

The reason why my math teacher failed algebra.

Something so dumb it should be illegal. Like a law that says you have to wear socks to school.

My cousin’s pet goldfish running for mayor.

A sandwich made with ketchup and mustard.

The idea that a toaster can be a fashion statement.

A person who talks so much it’s like they’re trying to fill the universe with their words.

My uncle at Thanksgiving telling the same joke for three hours.

My teacher explaining why the sky is blue in 10 different ways.

My friend’s mom at a party who won’t shut up about her cat.

A thing that’s so bad it should be banned from existence. Like a Monday that’s also a Tuesday.

My first day of school with a hangover.

A pizza that’s just bread and ketchup.

A movie that only has one scene and it’s boring.

A situation so crazy it could be the plot of a horror movie. Like your dog turning into a wizard.

My mom’s idea of a ‘normal’ day is me fighting a ghost.

My brother’s pet turtle winning a spelling bee.

My neighbor’s cat taking over my life.