haggermeister

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A drunk so bad you think Jägermeister tried to kill you with a spoon.

I woke up on the floor with a spoon in my hand and my pants on fire.

My roommate said I looked like a drowned raccoon wearing a hat.

I tried to text my mom and sent a photo of my face to my dog.

The kind of drunk that makes you wish you had a second job just to pay for the hospital.

I tried to sing karaoke and ended up crying in a trash can.

My boss saw me and said I looked like a mad goat.

I got a ticket for parking my car in a fire hydrant.

A drunk so bad you wonder if Jägermeister was a curse from the devil.

I tried to walk home and ended up in a neighbor’s yard eating their cat’s food.

I told my dad I was going to be a superhero, but he said I looked like a drunk squirrel.

I texted my friend and sent a video of me doing the moonwalk in a pool.