hagful

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A person who looks like they’ve been living in a trash can for years. They’re so ugly you’d rather get hit by a bus than look at them.

My aunt is the hagful queen. She eats pizza for breakfast and wears socks with sandals.

That woman from the grocery store looks hagful enough to scare the ghosts away.

My teacher is hagful. She probably dates a vacuum cleaner.

When you and your friends all agree to look like you rolled out of bed and into a landfill. No effort. No shame.

We had a hagging session before the movie. I looked like a raccoon who lost a bet.

My friends and I went hagging. We all wore pajamas to the mall.

Hagging is my favorite thing. It’s like a group hug for lazy people.

A loud, fake goodbye that people say because they feel bad about not being friends with you anymore.

‘Have a great summer’ from my ex. She probably wishes I’d die in a fire.

My neighbor said ‘Have a great summer’ and then immediately went on vacation.

My crush said ‘Have a great summer’ and then texted my ex.

A woman who looks like she’s been dipped in mud and left outside in the rain. Usually bosses or people who think they’re cool.

My boss is a hagful woman. She wears socks with sandals and screams at the printer.

That woman from the bakery is hagful. She probably dates a toaster.

My mom’s friend is hagful. She thinks she’s a queen.

A code word for people who write ‘Have a great summer’ in yearbooks but don’t actually know you. It’s like fake friendship.

My yearbook had ‘Have a great summer’ from someone I’ve never met before.

That kid in my class wrote ‘Have a great summer’ and then never talked to me again.

I wrote ‘Have a great summer’ in 20 people’s yearbooks. None of them remember me.

A girl who has a gay best friend and thinks it’s the most important thing in the world. Usually seen on TV.

My friend is hagful because her best friend is gay and thinks he’s perfect.

That girl on TV is hagful. She only cares about her gay best friend.

I’m not hagful. My best friend is straight and kind of annoying.

When you try to do something and you’re so bad at it that even your dog laughs at you.

I failed my math test so hard it was hagful. My dog walked out of the room.

I tried to cook dinner and it was hagful. My cat left me for a mouse.

I tried to dance and it was hagful. My mom cried.