hagazine

2 views · Added 2d ago · 6 definitions

A magazine full of wrinkled, saggy, bad-haired old ladies who think they're still hot.

My grandma reads it like it's the Bible.

The cover screams, 'I survived 50 years of bad skincare.'

It's the only thing that keeps my aunt from crying about her divorce.

A smelly, crinkly magazine that only ugly old women with too much time on their hands would read.

My aunt got it for her birthday and now it's her bedtime story.

It's like a group chat for old ladies who hate their kids.

The pages smell like old perfume and regret.

A magazine where ugly old women talk about their fake hair and why their hips hurt.

It’s the only thing my grandma reads instead of watching her kids fight.

The articles are like her rants at the grocery store.

It’s full of ads for knee braces and fake eyelashes.

A magazine for old women who think they still look like teenagers and are mad about it.

It's like a love letter to bad skin and bad decisions.

My aunt reads it like it's a gossip column.

It's full of pictures of women who think they're still in high school.

A magazine for old women who can't stop talking about their exes and their hips.

It's like a mix between a gossip magazine and a hip pain support group.

My grandma reads it every day before her morning coffee.

It's got more drama than my mom's divorce.

A magazine that only ugly old women read because they think it's the only thing that makes them look cool.

My aunt reads it like it's a fashion show for old ladies.

It's got more makeup tips than my mom's skincare routine.

It's the only thing that makes her feel young again.