hag wagon

My aunt is a hag wagon. She wears the same dress to every family function and yells at the TV like it owes her money.

My mom’s friends are all hag wagons. They smoke cigars and swear at the mailman.

The woman at the gym who yells at me for not lifting heavy enough is a hag wagon. She probably thinks I’m her son.

My grandma is a hag wagon. She wears socks with sandals and talks to her plants like they’re her kids.

The lady at the diner who spills coffee on me every time I come in is a hag wagon. She probably still thinks she’s in high school.

My teacher’s mom is a hag wagon. She wears a wig and still yells at the principal.

My neighbor is a hag wagon. She wears a bathrobe to the grocery store and yells at the checkout clerk.

My cousin’s aunt is a hag wagon. She still wears fake eyelashes and talks to her cat like it’s her ex.

The woman at the park who yells at me for sitting on her bench is a hag wagon. She probably still thinks she’s young.