Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A huge black guy in prison who stretches inmates until they look like pretzels and scream like babies.

That haff broke my leg and my dignity.

I saw the haff and I ran faster than a scared chicken.

The haff stretched the new guy so hard he cried like a toddler.

2

A rude dog lady who barks at you like she’s been waiting all day.

That haff barked at me like I owed her money.

My neighbor’s haff woke me up at 2 a. m.

The haff chased my kid across the street.

3

When someone says something so dumb you can’t help but laugh. You just say ‘eye haff to laff’ like you’re on a bad reality show.

He said he was a superhero. Eye haff to laff.

She cried over a spilled soda. Eye haff to laff.

He tried to fly off the roof. Eye haff to laff.

4

When you see something so cool you say it like you just heard the best joke ever. It’s like ‘I have’ but with a German accent and extra oomph.

That car was so cool. I haff!

I saw the best pizza ever. I haff!

She had a million dollars. I haff!

5

A place where the water is so calm it looks like it’s holding its breath. Like a lake that’s tired of being pretty.

We swam in the haff and it was like a spa for fish.

The haff was so still, I could hear my thoughts.

That haff looked like it was going to sleep.

6

A fancy way of saying ‘have’ but with more attitude and less effort.

I haff a lot of problems.

She haff the best shoes.

He haff the worst luck.

7

Another name for ‘have’ but with more flavor and less brainpower.

I haff a million bucks.

She haff a cool hat.

He haff the worst job.