HAF Time

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Time when you’re so stoned you think the moon is a bag of chips and the president is your ex

I just ate a whole pizza and now I think my dog is a wizard

I tried to text my mom and sent a selfie of a toaster

I asked my friend if the sky was on fire and he said yes, but it was just a cloud

That moment you’re so high you don’t know if you’re in a spaceship or your grandma’s basement

I thought my cat was singing opera and it was just meowing

I tried to do my math homework and wrote a poem about tacos

I told my teacher the ceiling was made of cheese and she gave me a warning

When you’re so wasted you think your pants are on fire and your neighbor is a superhero

I tried to go to bed but my sock was fighting my pillow

I yelled at my brother because he was eating my cereal and it was just a dream

I told my mom I was going to Mars and she said I was going to the store

That hour when you’re so high you think your pet is plotting against you and your fridge is a spaceship

I tried to feed my goldfish and it stared at me like I was a criminal

I told my dog I was going to take over the world and he just licked my face

I opened the fridge and it said, 'Hello, I am the future'

When you’re so high you think your toaster is a dragon and your mom is a wizard who stole your homework

I tried to make toast and the toaster said, 'You are not worthy'

I told my teacher my mom is a wizard and she said I was failing math

I asked my dad if he was a knight and he said, 'No, I’m just tired'

The time when you’re so high you think your shoes are alive and your brother is a wizard who wants your soul

I tried to take off my shoes and they started yelling at me

I told my brother he was a wizard and he said I was weird

I tried to do my homework and my pencil was arguing with my eraser