haemorRoid

A haemorRoid is a clueless Android user who thinks they're a tech god but can't even figure out why their phone is melting. They say things like 'I hate Apple' just to sound cool, even when they're asking for the time.

A haemorRoid is someone who thinks they're a genius because they passed a test from 2003 and now believe they can fix the world. They say 'turn it off and on again' like it's some kind of magic spell.

A haemorRoid is a person who thinks they're the best at coding, but their code looks like a toddler threw a crayon at it. They believe everything Google says, even when it's obviously a lie.

A haemorRoid is a sad person who uses a phone that looks like it was made in a prison and still thinks it's the best. They don't even know what HeartBleed is, but they say they're super secure.

A haemorRoid is a person who claims they're a coder, but they can't even install an app without crying. They think time travel is real because they copy everything Apple does.

A haemorRoid is a person who says 'I hate Apple' more than a kid says 'I want candy'. They work at a job so bad, even the printer hates them. They believe everything Samsung tells them, even when it's clearly a scam.