1
When you shoot blood out of your pecker like a broken fire hydrant.
I thought I had a UTI. Turns out I had a pecker explosion.
My cum looked like a horror movie special effect.
I peed blood and my girlfriend left me.
haematospermia
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2
When your cum is so red it looks like it came from a vampire.
I looked like I had been beaten by a tomato.
My cum had a side of ketchup.
I was so bloody I could’ve been a blood bank.
3
When your privates bleed so hard it feels like a warzone.
I was bleeding so much I could’ve started a war.
My privates were like a battlefield.
I had to take a break from sex because it was too intense.