hackmanic

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In Germany, the king’s favorite head-chopper. He’d slice off punks’ heads like they were bad meat on a grill.

That hackman was so brutal, the king gave him a raise and a new axe.

I’d rather be a criminal than the hackman’s lunch.

Hackman: the only guy who could make beheading look like a dance.

He’s the love of your life, your dream guy, and the only person who’d save you from a burning building and then flirt with you.

My hackman is hotter than my mom’s lasagna and smarter than my brother.

He’s like a superhero, but with better hair and fewer capes.

If hackman asked me out, I’d say yes even if I had a date.

A man’s junk, named after Gene Hackman because he had the best junk in the 1970s and got an Oscar for it.

That guy’s hackman is so big, it could beat up a cop.

If I had a hackman like that, I’d never need a ladder.

Gene Hackman’s hackman made the Oscar look like a piece of junk.

The hand signal you make when you’re so shocked, you want to punch someone’s face.

He gave me the shocker when I told him I failed math again.

I did the shocker when my dog ate my homework.

She did the shocker when she found out her crush liked her sister.

Friendly, but with a hidden mean streak, like when your mom offers you a cookie but it’s actually a trap.

He said hi, but I know he’s planning to steal my lunch money.

She smiled at me, but I swear her eyes were glowing.

That guy was nice, but he had a sword hidden in his backpack.

The ultimate hot guy, like the kind of guy who could make your heart do flips and your face do a faceplant.

That hackman is so hot, he could make a microwave jealous.

He walked in and my heart skipped a beat, like it had a crush.

If I had a hackman like that, I’d never need a dating app.