Hack Jacking

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When your computer is so weak it can’t even defend itself. Like it’s got the brain of a goldfish and the password of a toddler.

My laptop got hacked because I used 'password123' and it was easier to break than my ex's heart.

The firewall was so lazy it let hackers in like they were invited guests.

My software had a hole bigger than my cousin’s pants and it was embarrassing.

When a woman gets so excited she shoves an earphone jack up her snatch and it snaps like a broken promise.

I saw her do it in the mall and it was like a horror movie with more drama than my mom's soap operas.

She screamed so loud the neighbors called the police. And it was just a jack.

Her friend laughed so hard she spilled her coffee on the laptop. And the jack.