Haciendaed

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You're all messed up in the head. You might have been up all night. Or you drank too much. Or you cried like a baby.

I woke up and my brain was gone. I think I died and came back as a confused raccoon.

After that party, I looked like I had been hit by a bus and then asked for directions.

I got so emotional, I cried in my soup and it turned into a slurry.

A tiny group of guys who all have tiny wieners. They're like the elite of tiny.

My cousin's in Haciendaed. He thinks his wiener is the size of a pencil.

They're so tiny, they fit in a shoebox and still complain.

They have a meeting called 'The Tiny Circle' and it's just them crying in a room.

A fancy Mexican farm with a house. It's like a mansion, but with more corn and less drama.

That Haciendaed is bigger than my grandma's house and her drama.

They have cows, corn, and a house that looks like it came out of a fairy tale.

It's like a rich farmer's dream, but with more tacos and less sleep.

A gang in Mexico where they dip their junk in spicy food before having sex. It's like a party for their junk.

They dipped their junk in salsa and it was like a spicy dance party.

They put their junk in a taco and it was the most glorious thing ever.

They dipped their junk in hot sauce and then had sex like it was a competition.

A weird little town near LA. It's poor, full of immigrants, and everyone thinks they're rich because they have a Louis Vuitton bag with Target jeans.

That town is like a mix of poverty and fake wealth. It's glorious.

They live in a place that's 20 minutes from everything, but it's still the worst.

They have a rivalry between two schools and it's like a war.

When you flex so hard on Hacienda, you look like a giant and everyone is watching you.

He flexed so hard, he looked like a giant and everyone was jealous.

She flexed on Hacienda and it was like a flex party.

He flexed so much, the ground shook and his face turned red.

You chug a beer from your butt and then fart it into someone's mouth like it's a surprise party.

He butt-chugged a beer and farted it into my mouth like it was a dare.

She did a butt-chug and then farted it into my face and it was the worst.

He farted a beer into my mouth and it was like a beer explosion.