habitat

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The spot where you sit for hours, eating garbage, playing stupid games, and looking up words you should’ve known since third grade.

Bro, my habitat is my couch. I’ve never left it since 2019.

My habitat is my bedroom. It’s got snacks, a TV, and a 10-year-old pizza box.

My habitat is my mom’s basement. I live there now. She said I’m a ‘habitat’ in her house.

Where animals live. I’m not an animal. I have a soul and a phone. I don’t need a habitat.

I live in a house. That’s not a habitat. That’s a house. A habitat is where animals live. I’m not an animal.

My dog has a habitat. I have a house. I’m superior.

I don’t need a habitat. I need a soul. And a snack.

A place that looks like a tornado hit it. Usually belongs to someone who doesn’t know how to clean.

My sister’s habitat is a disaster. It smells like old pizza and regret.

My habitat is my room. It looks like I live in a landfill.

My roommate’s habitat is a war zone. I’ve seen more order in a prison.

What church should be. But it isn’t. It’s usually a place full of people who forgot how to be holy.

Church should be a habitat. But it’s not. It’s a place where people talk during the sermon.

My church is not a habitat. It’s a place where people whisper during the sermon.

Church is a habitat if you’re the only one who listens.

The thing that makes you happy when you do what you love. It doesn’t care if you’re cool or not.

My habitat is my guitar. It doesn’t care if I’m cool. It just makes me happy.

My habitat is my coffee. I don’t need a soul. I need coffee.

My habitat is my cat. It just stares at me. That’s enough.

The biggest house builder in Atlanta. They build homes, not habitats. And they probably don’t know what a habitat is.

That homebuilder in Atlanta? They don’t know what a habitat is. They just build houses.

My house was built by that big homebuilder. They didn’t even know what a habitat was.

That homebuilder in Atlanta? They probably think a habitat is a house with a porch.

Where crusty crustations live. Usually found in the most gross places, like the inside of a tuna-smelling human.

Crusty crustations live in my feet. They’re gross. They smell like tuna.

My habitat is my toes. They’re full of crusty crustations.

Crusty crustations live in my armpits. I’ve never been more gross.